Skymall Products – Part 2

So here is the follow up to my first post about the products contained in the SkyMall magazine. In part 1 I focused on advertisements featuring ridiculous products. In part 2 I’m including those that made me laugh because of the advertisement itself.

photo of energetic earth shoes
Energetic Earth Shoes ($99.95)
The thing that caught my eye about this advertisement was not the shoe itself, but the diagram to the right comparing these earth shoes to the traditional shoe. I guess when you are claiming that “These shoes will improve your posture!” you have to back it up with some sort of research or findings. What’s more convincing than an anatomical diagram that shows how these shoes “align your body naturally?” Well for one, it might have been a good idea to at use actual words for the labels rather than scribble lines. But who cares, I’m not buying them for their earth negative heel, I’m buying them because they’re cool.

before and after photos from skymall
Fungal Nail Relief ($36.00)
First off, gross. Second off, it might not come through in the scan, but I’m 99% certain that the “before” picture is a crappy photoshop job. The thing is, all I keep looking at are the dry crusty creases moving up and down the second toe. Those don’t change from the “before” to the “after” shot. Regardless of whether this individual’s nail fungus is relieved, they should still be embarrassed to wear open-toed shoes.

Premium LaserComb ($545.00)
This is another great example of the powerful “before and after” shot gone to waste. In the “before” shot the hair is combed straight, and it’s a bit thin on the man’s left side. In the “after” shot the hair is curled and there is a bald spot on the man’s right side. Wow, I gotta get me one of these laser combs.

photo of giggle bug child tracker
3rd-Story Fire Escape Ladder ($89.99)
For the record, I think this is a great product. Some nights as a child I would lay awake thinking of how I would maneuver my way out of my 2nd story bedroom should I be awoken by a raging fire. If only I would have had this ladder. I’m not being sarcastic. What struck me here was the cheesiness of the photo. It just has this calm soft feel to it, the mother with her hair flung behind her head in her red cotton robe, and the daughter smiling as she carefully places her foot onto the first rung. Right, that’s exactly how I imagine it happening.

Old Century Baseball ($119.99)
“Crafted in aged woods, enjoyed in ‘no-tech’ elegance.” In other words, boring. (The first part reminds me of Ron Burgundy when he says, “my apartment smells of a rich mahogony.”) But again, in this post I’m not picking on the product so much as the advertisement. And this is another case of cheesy photography.

So that sums up the two part series. While I’m sure there are many more gems lining the pages of SkyMall magazine, you can rest assured that I have given you a quick look at the some of the most ridiculous products and cheesiest advertisements. Until next time I fly. Which is in December. In just a few weeks.


  1. Man that ladder is hilarious! I am so sure I will be that calm with smoke just pouring out my window. I love that the smoke was there but there was no orange glow from any fire.
    I think that old man made that baseball game, That is why he is so excited. He is thinking yeah I made this game and now johnny and jenny can play with it too!! yay!!!

    - Andrew (Dec 1, 2006)

  2. “Honey, let mommy get away from the fire first. Once Mommy is okay then the kids can get out. Mommy just got a perm and you didn’t. Goddammit, MOMMY is more important.”

    - Rich (Dec 13, 2006)

  3. I thought of saying something more serious about the ad for the ladder…such as the advertiser didn’t want to relate a negative emotion like fear to the product itself. But instead I’d like to say that they should just combine the ladder and the baseball game ad by having the old man use his droopy sac as a lowering device….inappropriate?

    - Russ (Dec 13, 2006)

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